Social life runs on a mixture of trust and manipulation. A sycophant flatters powerful people to win favor, while an unctuous speaker offers compliments so oily that listeners grow uneasy. The obsequious waiter hovers anxiously, eager to please the wealthy patron. These are the polished instruments of cajoling, gently urging someone through charm rather than force. To placate an angry customer, a manager might offer a refund; to mollify a critic, the writer may soften an awkward passage. Beneath such polish lie darker strategies: guile is the sly intelligence used to deceive, chicanery is the trickery by which an entire accounting scheme collapses, and duplicity describes double-dealing that can last for years before discovery. Implacable feuds, where neither side can be appeased, often begin with such small betrayals.
The vocabulary of trust runs in two directions. The perfidious betray those who depend on them, while mendacious speakers lie outright, and disingenuous ones pretend not to know what they really do know. Furtive behavior, with its secretive glances and hidden notes, suggests wrongdoing even when no overt act has occurred. Credulous investors fall for obvious scams. On the other side of these traits stand words for moral solidity. Probity names strong, unquestionable integrity, candor names honest openness, and decorous behavior follows the rules of politeness. Ascetic and austere lives strip away comfort and indulgence in pursuit of discipline. Deference shows respectful submission to another's judgment, while the circumspect remain wary and prudent in sharing details. Vindication clears an innocent person of blame; exculpation does the same, but the exculpated feel the lingering weight of accusation lifted only when evidence is incontrovertible.
Trust also extends into how generously people share what they have. Magnanimous individuals forgive rivals; munificent donors give huge gifts; largess spreads resources through foundations or institutions. By contrast, the parsimonious landlord refuses even small repairs, the frugal saver lives simply to build reserves, and the impecunious artist survives on the kindness of friends. Hedonists pursue pleasure as the highest goal, while prodigal heirs squander fortunes and profligate companies burn through capital until bankruptcy follows. Approbation, the formal nod of approval, completes the picture, a public seal of praise that distinguishes honest community from flattering performance. Forbearance, patient self-control despite provocation, is the rarer virtue that holds communities together when flatterers and deceivers would pull them apart.